Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The "Readjustment" Post


So it’s been 1 month since I got off the plane at Norfolk International, officially marking the end of my Peace Corps service. Readjustment has been a mixed bag I must say. One of the first things I noticed, and that I was told by other PCVs would be my experience, was an overwhelming sense of overstimulation. Everything in America is large, its busy, its colorful, and its plentiful.  There is no small, dull, simple, and quiet. I also noticed that compared to Togo the environment here appeared incredibly organized and artificial. In Togo, even in the larger cities, you never feel physically or metaphorically far from the bush. My initial reaction in the US, even after spending some time in the mountains of Tennessee since my return, is that both physically and, I guess, spiritually, we are light years away from the natural environment; for better or worse.

Although I feel now that I have become ‘readjusted’ to life here, there are still those moments where I realize that I still haven’t quite gotten used to American life. I still have moments where I wander around lost in the grocery store or in a big warehouse store (orientation at Toy ‘R Us was painfully overwhelming). I could go on and on about what’s been difficult about readjustment but for the sake of not sounding whiney I’ll spare you that laundry list.

I think that what I’ve realized is that even more so than I originally anticipated, I feel a deep connection to my friends back in Togo, to my village, to the country of Togo, to the region, and to the continent at large even. Walking through the African art hall of the Chrysler Museum and seeing wood-workings from Burkina, Mali, Benin, Ghana and other West African countries (not Togo unfortunately) I just wanted to shout “Hey! I was there! I’ve seen people making stuff like that!” But then I realized that no one would be able to share in my excitement, or much less even care. 

My pastor was telling me about a church parishioner who was given a talk about her time in India. He was disgusted by her recounting of her experience, as she went on and on about the physical challenges, about the lack of sanitation, how everything was so dirty and everyone was so poor, blah blah blah….Without even recognizing that maybe there were aspects about the way they live that are attractive, that have merit. Her essential thesis was “They are poor and miserable, America is so much better.” While the lives of those in developing countries definitely should not be romanticized, I empathized with my pastor’s disgust and probably would have thought the same thing had I been there to hear the talk.

That is perhaps one of the greatest lessons I have taken from the Peace Corps that perhaps didn’t really fully develop until I returned to the States. Despite the challenges that may exist wherever you are, there is always something positive you can take from an area. Usually that comes in the value of the people themselves. They may think, feel, and behave differently from you but you can always find value in their way of life. This is not to say that I prefer Togo to the States (because I don’t- we live in the greatest nation on the planet, no doubt), but there are things I definitely miss about Togo, especially about the people that I came to know and love. As my friend Lloyd once said to me, “Some people will never be happy where they are and will always blame it on the place. I’ve found that you can always find something good about where you are.”

That’s what so exciting about travel- experiencing newness and what’s seemingly “out of the ordinary”. It’s exciting, it’s refreshing, and when you leave it always leaves you longing for it time and time again.

Friday, September 28, 2012

The “Religion Quandry”


 
Juggling multiple personalities is something that Volunteers must come to terms with. I was forced once again to do this this past Sunday at church during my going-away party in Agbelouve. I came into the Presbyterian Church that I frequented during my service not knowing what to expect. My moment arrived during the service, and suddenly I was led out to be draped with a kente cloth, in Romanesque toga style, with two young girls dressed in same said kente cloth attire standing on either side of me (awkward...).

I realized that, “Oh man, this was more than I bargained for.” Good thing I prepared my speech ahead of time.
 
I was led in by a procession of singing and dancing to Ewe hymns and handkerchiefs waved around me and then draped over my neck. Then all became silent and I was given the go-ahead nod from one of the elders in the church (whom I consider one of my really good friends). It was time for my grand speech. How to encapsulate 2 years into one 5 minute speech? How do I demonstrate my appreciation for all that my congregation and my community has done for me with just a simple speech? This was ‘the moment,’ and I was afraid that I wouldn’t quite rise to the occasion. Again, good thing that that I had written this thing out ahead of time.

All in all, I wouldn’t say that I smacked the ball out of the ballpark, but what I said was heartfelt and seemed to be appreciated by the congregation. But that’s not really what this post is about anyway. As the title suggests, it’s about the multiple personalities that Volunteers must juggle in their communities and how to deal with the ‘religion question’ as a PCV.

I wanted my speech to mean something for the church; to be something that they would really appreciate. What does that mean? That means I needed to get a least a little ‘religious’. How far do I need to go though? How far is too far? It was something that I thought a lot about, as I have thought a lot about during my service.

As a PCV many of your old opinions, perspectives, and beliefs become challenged. Yes, I would still label myself as ‘Christian’. So in that sense, I haven’t been lying to my community. I think Jesus is a great model to live by, and that he was on this earth to save us from something. Was that something ‘sin,’ in the sense of an a demonic force that infects your soul and leads you to do bad things? I don’t know. And the thing is, in my questioning of that belief, most of the people in my congregation would probably not consider me a ‘Christian’.

Yet I have insisted on coming to church regularly, as not only part of my integration into the community, but to try to show that I am, in fact, a Christian. And why exactly do I feel it’s important to show this? Not because I want to demonstrate my fervent faith. But because I don’t want to ruin my reputation in the community and I simply don’t want to have to answer any more religious questions, or have to listen to anyone try to prophesy or testify me. There seems to be this ethos, which is reinforced by the Peace Corps, that people around the world are essentially the same and need and desire the same things. I don't know if my experience here quite fits with that. I've found that, although we can come to common terms on some things, we are very very different, and that in some respects we can never really come to a full understanding of one other.

So, needless to say, my reasons for going to church are less than ‘pure’. As PCVS we say certain things to people in our villages, and give particular reasons for our actions/behaviors that are often only half-truths, if not flat-out lies, in order to retain a certain image of ourselves in the community.

Thus, I was worried about the speech. I wanted people to know that I consider myself a Christian, I believe you can have a personal relationship with the Creator, but I also believe much of the Bible is based on superstition, that many of the stories are simply parables to teach us certain lessons.

I also had to do a careful balancing act to look out for my replacement who was there in attendance as an ‘honored guest’, and whom considers himself a humanist philosopher, and thus isn’t big on the whole religion thing. So I wanted to make a heartfelt speech while invoking God and certain Christian beliefs (that I actually hold) while being sensitive to the fact that my replacement has to spend 2 years here and doesn’t wanted to be hounded every Sunday at his doorsteps with pleas to come to church and get saved.

The reaction to the speech was mostly positive. But I still wonder if I went too far in showing this particular side, or ‘personality’, of mine. The speeches by the elders afterwards suggest, well, just maybe it was a bit much. “He has come to church regularly and demonstrated his love of Jesus and his fervent faith,” “I want you know that the youth of today have rejected the faith of their mothers and fathers, but Tyler is an exception,” were two statements that made me feel, slightly, well….uncomfortable. And the pressure Daniel’s already getting to attend the church also suggests that maybe I went too far.

This is one major quandary that defines the service of a Peace Corps Volunteer. What do you retain from your life back home and what do you need to shed in order to become a part of the community? In that sense, the Peace Corps is a constant balancing act. Sometimes we get it right, and sometimes maybe we don’t.  But in the end we are changed for the better; and the multiple personalities we had to juggle during our service become absorbed into one new personality, one that is more complete and has a much richer perspective than the one that we first brought onto the plane that crazy day 2 years ago.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

12 Reasons to Date a RPCV


I found this in Peace Corps' WorldView magazine and I just had to post it. A good summation of the changes we go through as PCVs.

12 Reasons to Date a Returned Volunteer
By Erica Burman
1.       We can woo you in multiple languages.
Who else is going to whisper sweet nothings to you in everything from Albanian to Hausa to Quechua to Xhosa? That’s right. Only a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer.
2.       We’re pretty good dancers.
Yeah, we don’t like to brag, but after 27 months in Latin America or Africa we know how to move it.
3.       We’ll eat anything.
Seriously. No matter how bad your cooking, RPCVs have had worse and will eat it with nary a blink. Sheep’s eyeball? Water buffalo gall bladder? Grasshoppers? Bush rat? Bring it.
4.       We know all about safe sex,
Thanks to our very thorough PC health training. In fact, there’s a chance that we’ve stood unblushingly in front of hundred of villagers and demonstrated good condom technique with a large wooden phallus.
5.       We’ll kill spiders for you.
Well, actually, we’ll nonchalantly scoop them up and put them out of sight. Same goes for mice, geckos, frogs, snakes. Critters don’t faze Returned Volunteers.
6.       We have great date ideas:
Wandering a street market, checking out a foreign film, taking in a world music concert, volunteering… Romantic getaway? Our passport is updated and our suitcase is packed. With us, life is always an adventure.
7.       We like you for “you”…
not your paycheck. Especially if we are freshly back from service, a local joint with “character” will win out over a pretentious eatery. Living in a group house? No problem. Does it have running hot water? What luxury!
8.       You won’t get lost when you’re with a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer.
Navigating local markets on four continents, we’ve honed an uncanny sense of direction. Or else we’ll ask for directions. We’re not afraid to talk to “strangers”.
9.       Waiting for a late train or bus with us? Don’t worry.
Been there, done that. We can share lots of funny stories about “the bus ride from hell” that will make the time go quickly and put it all into perspective.
10.   Our low-maintenance fashion style.
RPCV guys are secure in their manhood and don’t mind rocking a sarong. Women often prefer flip-flops to high heels. We don’t spend hours in front of a mirror getting ready to go out.
11.   Marry us, and you won’t just get one family- you’ll get two!
When we refer to our “brother” or “mom,” you’ll want to be certain we’re talking about our American one or our Peace Corps one. You might even get two wedding ceremonies, one in the US and one back in our Peace Corps country.
12.   And last but not least, we aren’t afraid to get dirty.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Still A Learning Process....

Perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of PC service are the social/cultural differences we experience on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes these differences are overt (expectation that you greet everyone every time you see them), and sometimes they can be more subtle, even sometimes imperceptible (the unquestioned reverence for authority).

Today I realized that despite how far I may have come, boy do I still have much to learn...


We had planned a Men As Partners Program meeting with the teachers that I trained back in August on gender equity and what male leaders can do to promote it. The scheduled meeting was supposed to be a follow-up meeting to see how their work on promoting it in the community was going. We had invited one of the Regional Inspectors of Education to come to share some of his expertise and to give advice and support to the teachers.

Long story short, we had to cancel the meeting. I called the Chief Inspector and told him about the change before informing all the teachers. "OK, I'll let the other Inspectors know" he told me. I thought all was good and we had everything straightened out.

That is until I get the call today that one of the Inspectors had arrived to find no one at the school where we were supposed to have the meeting. I hopped on a motto and headed over to inform him about the change and apologize. When I arrived the school director was standing and chatting with the Inspector. The director was upset that he was not informed about the meeting in the first place.

I apologized to them both. I felt terrible at the lack of communication and that the Inspector had made the trip all the way to my village just to find out that the meeting was cancelled. He also informed me that he had to cut other work short to arrive on time.

Initially, I thought, "I can't believe the lack of communication in this country!" "It should not have been me who informed the director about the meeting at his school, that's my counterpart's responsibility! Why does he even care that we're having this meeting at his school?! He's on such a power trip!"

"I can't believe the Chief Inspector dropped the ball on this! Why does it have to be me who does everything!?"

Frustration at the lack of communication. Disappointment at yet another meeting cancelled. Ashamed that the Inspector had made the trip per my request. Confusion about why the school director was upset. Sick of all the politicking and formalities.

In general, ready to just give up this stupid follow-up altogether.

I forced myself to take a step back though.

The Chief Inspector may be one of the most busy professionals in the entire region. Period. To be in charge of the secondary school system for an entire region is no easy task, especially given the lack of resources and support he's working with. Expecting him to remember to inform the other Inspectors of the change is probably expectiting a little too much. Or a lot too much.

Expecting my counterpart, who teaches all day, does several odd jobs on the side to make ends meet, manages our Peer Educator and Girls' Science Clubs, is organizing a national camp this year, and has a family to take care of, to inform the school director that the meeting will be held at his school, especially when I hadn't even asked him to do so, is probably asking a bit too much. Or a lot too much.

It's not as if these moments aren't few and far between. Work here is hard, and these are the kinds of challenges we as Volunteers face. But, today I realized that there are still things which I don't quite understand, or don't quite agree with, and I need a bigger dose of perspective and humility to deal with them.

No matter what kinds of challenges we face, they still pale in comparison to the people with whom we live and work. And in the end, they LIVE here. I can rest at home tonight knowing that no matter how hard things may seem here, soon enough I will be back home with family and friends, where life is so much easier.

Also, I made the choice to come here. I am benefiting not only professionally, but personally as well. You cannot pay for a more exciting, enriching experience as the Peace Corps. I have at times caught myself thinking "I'm sacrificing alot just to be here and people here should be willing to sacrifice too!" The thing is, they are. Especially those teachers who had came to my Men As Partners training. They sacrificed, and are continuing to sacrifice their time and money (not to mention how they are perceived in the community when they are fighting to promote gender equity) in order to make their community a better place.

Peace Corps has definitely challenged me in many ways. It's challenged me to live and work in a different society with a different culture with different languages. It's challenged me to rethink the way we as humans (should) live and work together. And in the end, it's taught me that it helps to have a little perspective; a little humility; and to try to see things from someone else's perspective, no matter how hard that may be.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Changes


The rainy season ended a few months ago and we are now moving out of the dry, windy, dusty harmattan season. I think my body is reacting to this change as I am at home this morning with a cold. Soon the oppressive humidity will come back down here in the south. We won’t receive any rainy for about another 4 or 5 months. It will remain dusty as the ground will be dry, but fortunately the red clay that is kicked up and cakes everything around it- including vegetation, cars, buildings, and people, will no longer be as ubiquitous as the constant strong winds of harmattan are all but over.
Along with the climatic changes, other aspects of life in Togo are also changing. After my first few months at post I had the perception that life never changes here, that somehow Togo remained immune to the political, social, and economic changes that were happening all over North and West Africa at the time. It seemed that things hadn’t changed here in decades, and there was no indication that they were going to anytime soon. However, I can now see that Togo is going through its own set of (usually subtle) changes, some gradual while others quite rapid.
The wave of dissension against the government has spread here too. There were recently successful teacher strikes throughout the country. In the north, school was out for nearly a month as teachers fought for an increase in the pay given them that goes towards the provision of school materials for their children. There also have been student protests at the two Togolese universities, the University of Kara and University of Lome. Regular marches of student protesters in the streets of Kara hold up traffic, as I became aware of while coming down from a meeting in the northernmost region of Savannes. Our bus was held up for over an hour in Kara while waiting for the protesters to move off the road. In Lome, student protests have led to pepper spraying by the authorities. Moreover, there have been regular protests by opposition political parties in Lome, one such large protest actually made it onto CNN’s website, a big deal for this tiny, oft-forgotten West African nation.
The termination of the fuel subsidies in Nigeria caused an increase in transport costs in Togo since most of the independent fuel sellers (people with small stands of gas in glass bottles by the side of the road), and many of the larger gas stations too, receive their gas from Nigeria. With the subsequent backlash to the removal of the subsidies in Nigeria, the ousting of President Gbagbo in Cote d’Ivoire, strikes throughout Benin, and unrest in Burkina Faso, I am getting the feeling that something like an ‘Occupy Togo’ may be on the horizon. West Africa may be the next stop on the wave of revolutionary sentiment that brought about the Arab Spring.
Along with these larger changes nationally, I have also been able to notice huge changes in my village of Agbélouvé since I arrived here in November of 2010. There are now many more boutiques, street restaurants, and other businesses opening up. More and more families are moving to Agbélouvé to send their kids to our schools. The size of our market and the diversity of goods you can find there grow weekly. More and more fonctionnaires (I guess the equivalent would be ‘white collar’ workers in the States) can now be found living and working in Agbélouvé. There is much to be optimistic about here, as I am always finding new people to work with who are committed to girls’ education and promoting gender equity, and are just in general dynamic, motivated, awesome people. The sense of ‘staleness’, of lack of progress, of lack of any kind of perceptible change, that characterized my initial months here is all but gone.
I am excited to see what my second year has in store. I now have several weekly projects going along with a few long term projects as well. I do hour long health and Life Skills sensitizations at the CEG (read: middle-school) twice a week, have a weekly health stand at the market, Peer Educator Club once every 2 weeks, Girls in Science Club once every 2 weeks, Odyssey of the Mind Club once a week (program that includes team challenges to help students think creatively), business class once a week, computer class once a week, and another computer class once every 2 weeks. Long term projects include planning a regional Odyssey of the Mind competition, organizing a gala in Lome to raise funds for the Gender and Development Committee, assisting with the regional Take Our Daughters to Work activities, planning a village science camp, and possibly another Men As Partners (MAP) training with apprentices in Agbélouvé, along with follow-up activities of last year’s MAP training with teachers and working to ensure the sustainability of hand-washing stations that were installed at several schools in Agbelouve last year. Along with these activities, I am also positive other projects will come up to. Although I often still have a lot of free time on my hands, the days of just laying around, staring at the walls and wondering, “What exactly am I supposed to be doing here?!” are over. I have a lot going on and a lot to look forward to. The challenge now will be ensuring the sustainability of the projects and helping the transition for the Volunteer who will be replacing me (that is if they decide to replace me- which I really hope they do).


So I write a post about how we are getting ready for the long dry, hot season and what happens the very next day? We get a heavy rain. Since then however, we have not any type of precipitation at all…Togo never ceases to surprise me.
Speaking of surprises, I had several today….
Fulanis are the most fly, bad-ass, and mysterious people I have come across in my time here Togo. Fulani can normally only be found wandering with their cattle, which rolls dozens deep, for miles upon miles today. However, today seemed to be such an anomaly. I saw 2 Fulanis at the health center, one of whom was getting a shot. I saw others hanging out at the bar (granted not drinking- since they are Muslim, but nonetheless they were there). Then I saw the ones that I had seen at the dispensary bargaining prices to take a bush taxi.
And perhaps the one thing that caught me the most off guard was one actually asked me to help him with his phone. I found it incredible that were all the options on the phone were in his native language. Perhaps even more surprising was that he came up to me to ask for help with turning off the phone alarm.
Here was a young man whose French level barely went beyond “Bonjour, comment ca va?” and whose Ewe probably didn’t even go that far. He was a man, who like me, was living outside of his element. He didn’t speak the language, wasn’t a part of the culture, was very misunderstood by the locals, was not a part of the community. In many ways I identify with these cattle-herding roamers, who are like phantoms just passing through the village. Here for a week or two, and then gone.
Granted, I’m here for 2 years, but no matter how much we talk about being “integrated” into the community, you never quite feel like you have reached the ultimate goal of "going local". You will never completely shed your old self, as much you may feel like a part of the community, the fact is you are an outsider and you are always cognizant of it. Perhaps this is why he felt comfortable asking me to help him, or maybe he just thought I would know how to fix the phone. Regardless, despite the language barrier, I felt inexplicably at ease while ‘communicating’ with him. It seemed he felt the same, as his lack of apprehension approaching me indicated. This was coming from a young man whose people are, almost without fail, silent, mysterious, rough yet shy, seemingly emotionless nomads. There was definitely something going on in this abnormal ephemeral moment.
Or, it’s very possible that I’m just overanalyzing it; as often happens when I often have nothing but my own thoughts to occupy me…